Breaking up is hard to do

We’re on a break.  11th September 2013  I met an amazing man.  I certainly wasn’t looking as I had decided to end my marriage.    We had been married for 32 years at the time and I was empty and alone.  Then along came R.   Why was I attracted?   I have no idea.    We were at a meeting in the city and as is the custom in our tribe he came over to give me a hug.  He’d seen me on our group page on Facebook.  I was quite new to the tribe so the whole hugging thing was something I was not used to.  After that I did everything I could to avoid looking at him.  At the end of the meeting I could tell he was trying to manoeuvre himself to be near me as we exited the pub.    We stood outside talking for over half an hour.   Then he asked me if I’d like to go back inside for a drink.  I said yes, without hesitation.   We talked for another half an hour.  I drove him to the local railway station so he could get the train home.    A couple of days later he messaged me on fb.  we chatted.  He asked me for my phone number.  I readily gave it as I felt he was someone I could trust.    We were chatting and he asked me out for dinner.  I thought about it for approximately 0.27 seconds.    I said Yes.

The following week I went to his place to pick him up.   He couldn’t pick me up as I was still living with hubbie.    We went to a nice restaurant and, again, talked for ages.   Well, he actually did most of the talking.   Then moved onto a local pub, bought some mulled wine and found a nice leather lounge and got comfortable.  talked for ages.    And then, the kiss.  OMG   I felt it right into my solar plexus.

That was the start of the most amazing time.  We spent a lot of time together.  Nights over at his place, visiting friends, Sydney Confest, Confest, Burning Seed, dinners out, pubs, music venues.  OMG.   I had some of my belongings at his place as I would sometimes spend a couple of nights over.

When did it start to go wrong.   Probably a couple of months ago.   Through circumstances I spent more than a couple of nights in a row at his.  Was it too much?  Looking back I believe so.  Then we went to Burning Seed.  6 days together.  I sensed something then and even before.   The passion reduced.   We made love once in that week.

I had been having angel healing session.   This cleared a lot of blockages and increased my energy.  One girlfriends comment when she saw me was that I looked 15 years younger.   I asked my healer if the aura I had been creating around me had pushed me away she replied no.  It would be that my energy had increased and that his was still flat.  She has met him.

The problem for both of us was that we didn’t and still don’t know who we are.   We are both searching “out there” for who we are rather than internally.  He has started going to a psychologist and basically he doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship at this time.   Even though the pain is excruciating at this time I know that it’s for the best.  It will give me a chance to find who I am.  Connect with me.  Fall in love with me.





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